I spent 2007-2010 (and probably some years before that) praying to God that he would make my ex see the light, straighten up his ways, and come back to me to make things right.
At 2am last Tuesday, I was thanking God for those unanswered prayers. (A little irony is that my first date with The Ex was to see a Garth Brooks concert and “Unanswered Prayers” was a pretty big hit for him then. Touche, Garth.)
It was at that wee hour of the morning that The Ex decided to leave the safety of the bushes that netted his falls to go and stand in the middle of my yard FACING THE STREET to urinate. While wobbling. At the risk of sounding like my mother…Can you imagine what my neighbors must think???
I figured that he was no where close to sobering up enough to drive and the risk of the police or an angry girlfriend had diminished, so I ushered him into the house to the couch. He kept saying that he didn’t want the kids to know that he was there, so he was going to be up and gone before they ever figured it out. Have you met our children? I still tuck them in at night. If I fall asleep on the couch, they will wake me up when they tire of the x-box so that I can put them to bed. Do you really think they went two hours without noticing my absence? Not likely. Not to mention that you are like a bull elephant in a china shop. There isn’t a wall you haven’t knocked into and your whisper could wake the dead.
Sure enough, there was MonoBoy “asleep” on the couch. I got him up and ushered him into my room. (I decided that it was probably best for The Ex to sleep at the back of the house in his room, and MonoBoy would sleep with me. Like my own personal little Watch Dog.) As MonoBoy climbed into my bed, he made a motion like he was chugging, pointed to the living room, and shook his head. Yep, that’s what I thought. Awake and aware.
I then drug The Ex to my son’s room. He kept protesting in his loud whisper that he was afraid that MonoBoy would sleep walk back into his room and find him there. Also not likely. He hasn’t done any sleepwalking in years. Probably since you lived here.
“Well, he sleep walks when he stays with me!”
Hmph, doesn’t that say something? Anyway, I set the alarm on his phone (all four of them) and asked if he was sure that he would hear them.
“I do every day!”
I wondered if he was this drunk every day, but decided to let it go. I turned out the light and headed down the hall, running right smack into MonoBoy who had crept out of bed to keep a watchful eye on the situation. He said that he just wanted to make sure that he didn’t hit me. (I’m guessing he saw the blood on his father’s arm.) I assured him that things were fine and that his dad just needed a place to sleep for one night. I laid in bed staring at the ceiling, lamenting about how terrible it is for a child to have that fear. What he must have seen over the past few years. Finally, I drifted off to sleep.
At 5am, LoverBoy came into my room and woke me up. “Mom, make it stop. His alarm has been going off FOREVER and it is driving me crazy.”
Oh no, Sweetie, you must be mistaken because Daddy hears his alarm EVERY DAY. And look at that! Pigs really do fly.
I spent the next 44 minutes trying to get The Ex up and on his way to work. I hollered. I shook him. I put the alarm up to his ear. I might have even kicked him. “Ow, why do you always have to be such a bitch?” Gee, I wonder.
I finally got him up and out of the house. No shower. No toothbrush. Probably still half drunk. Yet I lost the ability to worry about him dying in a car crash. In fact, I might even have prayed for it.