It’s that time of year again

It’s that time of year again, so I’m bringing back an old post.  Not much has changed in a year.  I’m still suffering with sinus issues and I still struggle with the single mom thing.  I might possibly make this post an annual tradition, unless my life suddenly improves and my opinion of Thankful November suddenly changes.  (I wouldn’t hold your breath.)

Originally posted November 2, 2012:

If you’ve been on Facebook the past two days, you know that it is Thankful November. The month when Facebook Users count their blessings in daily posts. It’s also known as the Month That I Avoid Facebook.  (It’s all part of my Love-Hate relationship with Facebook.)  Here’s an example of why:

Day 1: I am so thankful for my wonderful husband who is THE BEST partner, friend, and lover that I could ever ask for and THE BEST father and role-model to our wonderful children.

Bite me.

Don’t get me wrong. I understand the concept of thankfulness and counting your blessings. I’ve started many of Gratitude Journals in tough times when I needed to remind myself that the good in my life outweighs the bad. And it does. I’m just not going to post it on Facebook.

You know why? Because you never know when some poor single mom might be sitting in a doctor’s office for THREE hours trying to arrange rides for kids that need to be picked up from school because her kids DON’T have the wonderful father and role-model to help. You never know if she is so close to the edge of insanity that your joyous little post could actually send her over the edge.

I don’t want that kind of responsibility.

My newly diagnosed deviated-septum and filled sinus cavities and I can’t take on responsibility for anything else. My head might explode and then there would be mucus everywhere and yet another mess that I would have to clean up. Alone.

If I had to publicly post gratitude right now, it might look something like this:

Day 1: I’m so thankful for the kid that told my son that he saw his father on Halloween with a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other and that he was drunk. Thank you. I needed the reminder about why I’m divorced and paying for therapy for my children.

Cynical much? You betcha.

That’s why I’m looking forward to next week or the week after on Facebook. People will run out of gushy, feel-good thankfulness. They will run out of children, family members, and pets to mention and start being thankful for small things, like their super-yummy Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks.

Others that feel my cynicism about the whole thing will start posting sarcastic or made-up thankful posts. Those make me laugh. I’m thankful for those.

I know. I know. It’s sad to be so jaded on Day 1 of Thankful November. It defeats the purpose. I really do have so many things to be thankful for in my life. I might even start a new Gratitude Journal.

Day 1: I’m thankful that November only has 30 days.




  1. November 2. I’m thankful for cynical posts that make me laugh out loud unexpectedly, making me cough because I have one of those November colds.
    November 3. I’m thankful that starbucks has a gold card program, and after every 10th caffeine fixation, I get one more boost for free.
    November 4. I’m thankful that I can write ahead about what I’m thankful about 🙂
    You rock – this was awesome!

  2. The last bunch of Novembers I cringed just like you do at people posting crap like that, their “wonderful husband and father” “the love of their lives” “their amazing and well-behaved thoughtful teenager that clean up after themselves and answer with full sentences rather than grunting” blah blah blah…I never had a wonderful husband, I had a third child. I had an asshole that would make me feel like shit, I rarely had anything to feel thankful for. While I was married, I was the one doing everything ALONE. Raising two kids, being told how I was doing it wrong, all the housework was mine to do, car repair, etc…Life sure was a big bowl of rotting lemons. I HATED those people that would gush about their amazing lives, husbands, friends, kids, pets, etc…
    Today, however, I have a different perspective. There is SO MUCH about my life I would love to change, but finally, I am happy. I don’t have any illusions about how I got here. It wasn’t by accident. I busted my ass to be who and where I am today. And I’m still working on it. I’m not going to gush about it to everyone else, because its mine. Its not for Facebook, not for the random strangers to ‘like’. Its mine. So, for the ability to get myself out of the hot mess that was my first marriage, for the strength I didn’t realize I had, I am thankful.

  3. All the love and thankfulness is cool but it’s kind of like over the top public displays of affection. You don’t want it to get on your nerves but it does! And usually it’s a woman thing. You don’t see to many post from guys thanking the world for a super wife and his great kids. Sorry we are not wired that way! And for me the people who usually write the gush are fake ass people who feel like they need to kiss there spouses ass. And the world needs to see that their fake life is really somehow real! But real relationships don’t need to be published on FB because your truly connected to that person and everyone that really knows you are us close to you know it! To many people gave that Tom Cruise syndrome! Remember when he was on Oparh jumping on the couch about his love for his now Ex-wife. That’s what the FB people are doing. Trying to find falidation that their fake life style is something real! Sorry not trying to be a Debbie Downer but I know people who don’t have to publicize and everyone that knows them know that life is real and not a fairtale. Strive to find the real in life and the rest will take care of itself.

  4. That’s awesome!!! I’m right there with you.

  5. Stacey, I think you and I are living parallel lives. I could have written an identical post! So thank you for making me feel less alone. 🙂

    I LOVED this post. Oh how I can relate to it! It isn’t that I’m ungrateful for the many blessings in my life but the women who post about their “amazing” husbands definitely feels like rubbing salt into my wounds. I find myself knee-jerking back to the “why didn’t I think I was good enough for THAT kind of man” sort of thoughts. At any rate, thank you, once again, for your honesty. I am thankful for YOU. 🙂

  6. Hysterical and totally relatable. Thanks for the laugh and dose of reality!

  7. I know what you mean and how you feel. I am so glad things are going so good for others but right now I feel so barried in all that is going to happen at the end of the month. It seems nothing is going good right now. What should I say I’m thankful I am going to be homeless at the end of the month. I’m thankful Christmas is coming a few weeks later and that I can’t get in to see a doctor and I’m almost half way threw my pregnancy. I am all ways thankful for what I have and know that I could be worse off but what right now I don’t think I could be much worse off and find it very hard to think about the good because right now the bad far out way the good.

  8. I love this post! It speaks to me, and obviously to so many others as well.
    Your story is my story…… Well, most of the time!

  9. I’m so with you on the whole sappy facebook posts. ALmost makes me miss the political crap ones. Almost.
    November 5, 2012. I’m thankful I have a job and insurance. The end.

  10. What Stacey said, word for word! I am thankful I escaped alive. I am thankful there are so many online blogs and FB pages dedicated to making us all feel not so alone. That said, if these people truly have such wonderful husbands, they SHOULD be thankful, they have no freakin’ idea!

  11. I must have a lot of ungrateful friends on Facebook! I had no idea it was Thankful November! My local friends have spent the past few days recovering from Hurricane Sandy and as we slowly get power back, we are thankful. Maybe there’s a metaphor there….

  12. I kept my thanks off of facebook and chose to not pick people to be thankful for. I take all year and tell them that. So my blog posts are other things that I’m thankful for — and I’m trying hard not to be superficial about it.

    I REALLY want to say “I’m thankful my son has finally figured out who his father is” but since he reads my blog, I won’t be able to.

    Head up. 🙂 You’re doing a GREAT job!

  13. Kimberlee Kenyon says:

    I’m right there with you sister and I know of others that feel exactly like us.

  14. On november 1st I thought of you….

  15. Enjoyed reading your blog! I look forward to December 1 every November 🙂
    An occasional Thankful post is good for the soul but 30 days of Thankfulness loses a bit of sincerity.

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