Sometime during my divorce grieving period, I read somewhere that people who like to complain about the unfairness of life tend to like to play the victim. Oh. That just won’t do. I don’t want to be a victim even though terrible things that have happened. I am a survivor, not a victim, and because of that I try (emphasis on the word “try”) to keep my unfairness complaints to a minimum.
But there are some days, and today is one (which could possibly have something to do with dropping a kid off at basketball practice at 4:45am) that I just can’t stand it. I’m sorry, but I just have to say it.
Oh, the unfairness of it all!
I will try not to let my unfairness rant go all the way back to the beginning when life initially hit me with its big mind-boggling, unfairness stick. You know, when I discovered that although I had worked my butt off in a demanding career, I had lost everything because the a-hole I married gambled away everything that we had (and then some) behind my back. I’ll try not to reflect on that, even though years later, I’m still broke and paying for those sins because you just can’t make up for 13 years of paying interest instead of earning it. Yes, let’s just completely toss that little nugget to the side and focus on today.
Today, I’m broke and because I’m broke (for whatever reason), a little letter from the IRS asking me to pay $1,861 for 2011 causes me to feel victimized. Why me? What on earth happened in 2011?
Oh yeah, I refinanced the house into my name only in 2011. Prior to that, the a-hole’s name was on the mortgage too. Should I have done that in 2008 when the divorce was final? Of course, I should have, but did I mention that I was married to gambler that spent all of our money and drove our credit rating to the ground. Under the ground. Near the earth’s core.
In 2011, interest rates dropped, so I decided to refinance the house. No, that’s not exactly true. My ex stopped paying child support and I needed to reduce my cash outflows and lowering my mortgage payment with a reduced interest was necessary. Urgent even. It was a fun time, if you remember. That’s when I realized that the a-hole’s truck (still in my name) was keeping my credit rating locked inside the gates of hell and I had to repossess the truck to rescue my credit, my refinancing loan, and my sanity.
Now here we are in 2013 and the IRS decided to recalculate my 2011 tax return and exclude the 11 months of mortgage interest that I paid prior to the refinance since the bank listed my ex-husband’s social security number on the tax form. They think that it belongs to him. No. Just no. Stop. The man has been evicted from every residence he’s been in. You really think he’s paying a mortgage? And COME ON, he hasn’t even filed a tax return since the joint return we filed in 2007. Not a single tax return in six years.
I mean, really IRS, do you think he deserves a Mortgage Interest deduction? I thought failure to file resulted in penalties, not undeserved deductions! Are you sending him little letters like the one that you sent me, demanding payment with an unrealistic due date? Of course not. If you were, they would come to my address, since that was his last known address. Eight residences and six years ago.
I spent the weekend making copies and highlighting my tax statements, loan documents, and divorce decree to prove that the deduction is rightfully mine. And what is The Ex doing while I am jumping through hoops to deal with this? The same thing that he does on April 15th of every year. Absolutely nothing.
Doesn’t this just seem eerily similar to the child support debacle of 2011-2012? He stopped paying child support and medical expenses and I had to write letters, copy a year’s worth of medical bills, design spreadsheets, and fill out forms in triplicate signed in blood to get the attention of the Attorney General. Since his child support payments are garnished from his wages and run through their office, you would think that they would have noticed sometime within the year. Nope.
So let me get this straight…
The Ex doesn’t file tax returns as required by the law while I do, but I am the one spending hours dealing with the IRS over one little deduction reported. The Ex doesn’t pay child support while I provide 100% of the support of the children, but I have to spend hours (days) dealing with the Attorney General. The Ex doesn’t have the sense not to gamble away money that he doesn’t have while I do, but I have to spend THE REST OF MY LIFE dealing with the effects of his debt.
Say it with me. Oh the unfairness of it all!