Uncle! already

I am done.  No more.  I’ve had my fill.  That’s it.  I have now survived 4 years A.D. (After Divorce), and “Uncle” already.  Enough is enough.

Yep, that pretty much sums up what has brought me to the point of starting a blog.  On the day that I reached my limit, I put it all out there on Facebook for my closest friends and acquaintances to see.  I posted the following as my status:

I wish the State of Texas would enact a law requiring noncustodial parents to help pay for the care of their children.  They could call it child support or something catchy like that.  Sure would be nice…

A simple post typed in a moment of rage over the lack of child support or any support for the past many moons.  I posted it and for a moment, I felt victorious.  And then…OH CRAP, WHAT HAVE I DONE?

Now, don’t get me wrong, my ex is not my “friend” on Facebook.  We find that being friends on the social network pretty much limits our ability to be friends (or speak without spitting) in real life.  Even though, every time I log in, his face appears under “Friend Suggestions” because we have 167 friends in common.  Curse you, Facebook!

My anxiety about the post was really because people could see that I wasn’t the pillar of strength that I liked to pretend.  What would they think?  Did it seem catty and tacky to air my dirty laundry? (My close friends haven’t gotten to this sentence yet.  They are probably still rolling on the floor laughing about me thinking that I’m a pillar of strength.  Get up.  It’s not that funny.  It could happen.)

Needless to say, I avoided Facebook for a good solid 3 days.  New World Record!  I told myself, when I finally logged in, that I would not view the comments on the post.  Okay, so maybe I will just skim the comments because, if they are negative, I can delete the post immediately and blame PMS.  I’m sure that I was probably holding my breath and dangerously close to passing out by the time I scrolled down.

OH MY GOSH.  Who knew that there were so many Deadbeat Dads out there?  The majority of the comments were responses with the length of time since they had received child support.  I was shocked.  I thought I was alone on the island.

The next day, in my therapy session, I fessed up to my counselor about my post, and she said, “Maybe you should think about writing a blog.  Tell your story.  I think a lot of people could relate.”

And here I am…Draft 37 of Blog Post #1.  Guess what.  I have no idea how to start a blog or what to say.  I’m an accountant, not a journalist.  My friends would probably all agree that I tend to ramble about absolutely nothing.  Okay, so maybe the majority of the rambling is about my ex or the difficulties of being a single mom or how UNFAIR life is.  I’m pretty sure that they are tired of hearing it, and I’m starting to think that the counselor’s suggestion was merely a way to point my venting in another direction…away from her.  So now all of you, all two of you (Hi Mom) can read it.

My first draft (or first twenty) was about my life story.  I banged it all out on the keyboard until the computer threatened to crash from the abuse.  Then I read it, and have I said OH MY GOSH already?  My life has a lot of parts that aren’t really all that funny.  Yuck.  I didn’t even enjoy reading it.  I have no doubt that I will eventually spill all of the sorted details because I haven’t learned the art of boundaries when it comes to sharing, but for now, I will just give you the abridged version of my story.

I’m a 40-year-old, divorced, single, working mother of two boys.  I work full-time as an accountant, which allows me to own a home that I want to burn to the ground daily due to all of that maintenance and cleaning it requires.  My boys are becoming teenagers, which makes me admire Gerbils for eating their young. And I hit the trifecta when I chose a husband (compulsive gambling, alcoholism, and infidelity).  You know what’s more difficult than being married to that guy?  Being divorced from him and co-parenting (ha) with him.  My dating life A.D. isn’t very pretty either.  Apparently, no matter how much I scrub my face, the “Losers and Addicts Apply Here” sign won’t come off of my forehead.

So for now, and possibly eternity, I am handling it all on my own – the house, the kids, the animals, the job, the bills, the stress, the lack of sanity, and anything else that comes my way.  And lucky for you (or perhaps just my exhausted friends), I’m going to blog about it.

 

Comments

  1. Uncle already! I get it! I understand – I’m weary of it all too! I’ve found my cape is missing!

  2. Aren’t teenage boys the best?! Mine are 12 and 15 going on 30! I’m looking forward to reading more!

    • EXACTLY! Somehow I became so completely stupid as soon as the testosterone arrived. I have a post that I haven’t shared yet about the things that teens say…without thinking. You gotta have thick skin to live in THIS house!

      • Wow. Good for YOU! This whole supermom thing IS a load of crap, ’cause the kieddos are not having a good time when we’re all stretched and stressed. I think the object with kids and school is good two-way communication with the teacher, all the other stuff is supposed to be for fun. Isn’t it?

  3. Thank you for stopping by my blog and commenting. I do have to say your blog looks much more put together than mine and like you know what your doing lol. I may have to get some help from you. It seems that our lives are a lot a like. It was right at the holidays when me and my ex split up. So I had to get use to them being gone although I seen them every day even when they were with him. But it still took some getting use to at night when they weren’t here. The worst was the holidays and them not being here. I can’t even explained how I felt it was so bad. It is now easier when they go on the weekend after having them and doing it on my own for two weeks straight I welcome the break. It still gets a little boring at times but not to bad. Not looking forward to the holidays again. I don’t know if that will ever change.

    I love to read too. I have 3 big book shelves full of books. I use to read all the time then husband kids and life got in the way. I was to consumed with it all to read. Now I read when I am in the car loop at school and the bus stop. But that still isn’t as much as I like to or wish I could. I love to collect books. I need to start reading more because I now have more that I haven’t read than I have. I haven’t read the self help books yet book thinking maybe I need too.

    We won’t even talk about the dating and such. I have a sign like yours tattooed to my forehead. But I have decided that maybe I should just be alone but I don’t want to expect that. I like having some one there. I just have to get threw the next few months and get moved a way get settled and then maybe think about meeting someone again. Don’t feel bad I didn’t get a dime from my ex until he had been moved out for over 6 months. Only reason he started paying then was because he wanted to make a deal that I wouldn’t go after him for back child support when we went to court in a few weeks. Looking forward to reading more of your blog.

    • It’s hard to settle down at first when the kids leave. The first year, I busied myself with projects. I even put a huge wallpaper mural in my son’s room. I was so worried about what they were going through and how unfair it was that I spent every spare moment doing something that could possibly improve their lives. I’m not sure how I figured a baseball scene on a wall would do it, but I felt productive. I’m kinda over all of the project nonsense. I don’t feel the need to prove to the world that I can do everything all by myself. Now I just want to win the lottery to pay people to do those things. I guess I need to buy a ticket!
      For the blog, I have a preset template and I don’t venture out of my comfort zone with it. At first, I giggled every time I heard the word “widget.” I still don’t know what to do with a widget, but I don’t laugh at it anymore. Email me any time!

      • I have been saying the last month I need to buy a lottery ticket so I can win and get enough money to move out of this state to another. I told my friends if I win enough I would by a huge chunk of land and out us all houses out there and make our own little place for us and all our kids to play and run and do what they want. Like our own little village. But I haven’t bought a ticket yet. I always forget. I have the template and I kind of figured out some of the “widgets” but am still pretty clueless. I just found this site to help with your blog and it is talking about feed this and seo that and all this stuff and I’m just going WHAT? So I am going threw each one looking up what it is what it does and how it can help my blog. It’s going to be a while I think. They have a 101 tips but they seem to really know what they are talking about. I got this thing called a scene setter it’s plastic kind of like a table cloth but a little thicker. It is for parties. It was from the Cars movie. I took wall paper glue and clued it to my sons wall a few year ago then cut out cars from a poster from the move and taped on it. I didn’t that before we split up. just to ad to his room. He loved it but it was a pain. It took three of us to do it. it goes all the way down one wall from roof to floor. I love to do the kids rooms.

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